


Nothing Special

by MCRisnotdead04



Category: Original Work
Genre: Author is okay, Depression, Poetry, Sad, Self-Harm, Suicide, sorrynotsorry, vent fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-15 22:03:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15422553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MCRisnotdead04/pseuds/MCRisnotdead04
Summary: Just some poems and vents for my teenage angstalso I spilled some tearswoops





	1. if you carry your childhood with you, you never become older

They say don't wish your childhood away,  
but what if I never had a childhood to wish,  
What if I want to grow up  
What if I want to get away from this place  
What if can do this without them  
I've made it 14 without you,  
I can go the rest of my life on my own

Stop that! Stop pretending that you care,  
because I know, I know that look behind your eyes.  
I've grown up with that look of lies plastered behind   
every pair of eyes that meet mine.  
I know that tone, full of hatred  
but only towards me.  
I know everything is just for show,  
be the happy nuclear family that we seem to be,

Nobody needs to know about Dad, who struggles to pay rent   
who stresses about everyone and tries to hide it  
who bears the weight of keeping the family together

Nobody needs to know about Mom, who sits on the couch  
yelling  
screaming  
throwing   
hitting

And they still say to savor your youth,  
but oh  
what is there to savor about hell?


	2. Bad Days

I'm scared of myself  
I'm scared to _be_ myself

I'm scared to be sad,  
It's not okay,  
people have it way worse than me, right?

Why am I such a mess up  
why am I here  
I don't deserve to live  
I don't

But then I think that I can't  
I can't it's bad  
I can't it's bad  
It's bad  
Bad  
Bad  
Bad

I have to be Normal  
I have to be regular  
I can't be different  
Things can't be wrong  
I can't have bad days


	3. I love you... but I can't love myself

You stand there, looking at me like I'm the sun,  
Like if you were to stare for too long you'd be blinded,  
by what, I don't know

I don't know what you're gazing at but the look on your face says it all,  
I could go anywhere and you would follow,  
why? I don't understand

You stay, even when there's nothing left  
if I were to leave everything and go


End file.
